Day to day...
Most days have the same rhythm and schedule, enough said.
Milk...
Currently, SeriousKiddo gets formula as well as baby food. If I could get people to do just one thing it would be to get them to be more understanding in that breastfeeding is harder for some people than for others. I
was all set to breastfeed until I actually had my baby. He never, ever was able
to nurse on me (hello pumping). And I did not produce enough milk – on my best
day of pumping ever, I got 10 ounces (total, not per boob). Most days, we’re
talking about 6 pumping sessions (sometimes up to 8 sessions) and 4.5 ounces of
milk per day (total) – spending 30 minutes pumping and then cleaning equipment times for 6 sessions a day equals 3 hours of pumping activities per day WITHOUT the baby. Pumping means I
couldn’t hold my baby because, duh, I was all hooked up. I was so tired of
people asking me “why can’t he just latch on?” and “why can’t you produce more
milk?” and their inuendo that I was somehow not trying hard enough. After 6 months
of trying desperately to breastfeed, my body stopped producing milk altogether
(I happened to be fighting back-to-back colds at the time, possibly a
contributing factor). I am writing all of this in the hope that someone,
anyone, reads this and decides to be more understanding. We, and our babies,
are all made differently – breastfeeding may be awesome for one family and
totally unworkable for another family.
Baby food...
I have no issues or concerns with paying $1.50 per container for Gerber 1st Foods (example). We started with veggies when SeriousKiddo was 5 1/2 months old. Within the last few weeks (when SeriousKiddo was around 6 3/4 months old), we started adding in baby food that had meat (turkey) or fruit. We didn't add fruit to his diet earlier because we didn't want him to develop a sweettooth, and so far it has worked! He will eat anything, except possibly cereal. He does not seem to like baby oatmeal or Cheerios.
Work life balance...
It has been challenging to say the least. Some people "get it" and others don't. By "get it", I mean that they are generally understanding or sympathetic. And it's not necessarily the people I would have expected... some people who don't have kids have been really understanding (these folks are usually petowners) - God bless these people. And some guys who I normally don't talk to have gone out of their way to come and tell me that when their kids were little (ages 0 - 5 years old), it was the BEST time of their lives - so sweet! But, there have been a couple of women who I would have thought would be understanding (they after all have kids) but they have actually been the opposite - they have been totally dismissive of anything I say that is even slightly negative (it can't all be roses). I listen carefully whenever they talk about their problems - I'm not asking for reciprocity, but a little tolerance when I'm having a less than stellar day would be nice.
Sleeping...
Luckily, SeriousKiddo is pretty good about going to sleep, unless something is bothering him (like if he has cold, or if he is over-tired, or if he is teething). We haven't done "sleep training.” We just put SeriousKiddo
down in his crib, which is in a separate room from us, and then we wait. First,
we wait beside his crib, and tuck him in, rub his back, turn on his sound
machine. If he starts to go to sleep, we leave the room. If he does not go to
sleep, then we just assume he's not ready for bed yet, and we pick him up, feed
him, hang out with him in another room, etc. We try to keep his crib a place
for sleep only, so if he's not falling asleep, we don't want him in there. Once
we leave his room while he's starting to drift off, we still listen, and if he
starts to stir, we go back in there. Sometimes, it is as simple as putting his
pacifier back in. If it's not that simple, then we'll pick him up and go hang
out some more in the other room together with him. I basically just do whatever
the baby wants - if he wants sleep, I'll let him, and if he doesn't, then I don't
push the issue. Some days he sleeps much more than others – I'm not here to
judge his schedule - I just support him in whatever he feels like doing.
Parenting Philosophy...
It would be difficult to summarize my parenting philosophy, but here are some things I am going to try to do:
- Support SeriousKiddo in whatever he wants to do (whatever he wants to be, whoever he wants to love...)
- Introduce him to art (but if he doesn't like it then I won't push it)
- Give him a happy childhood (adulthood is hard, so I'd like his kidhood to be as wonderful as possible)
- Set boundaries (no matter how cute it is, I am not going to laugh when he yanks my glasses off)
Support from family and friends...
Generally it has been amazing. I could not do parenthood alone. I feel incredibly grateful. I basically hibernated for the first few months of SeriousKiddo's life - his crying was unpredictable, it takes a ton of stuff to travel with him, I was learning and getting used to new routines for us, I was afraid of germs and him or I getting sick, and I was generally feeling stressed out all. the. time... It has been hard to bounce back from that period of hibernation now that SeriousKiddo is easier to travel with (because his crying is more predictable and I'm now better able to know what I need to do to prevent or stop it). Starting around month 4, and especially after month 5, it has been easier to go places with him and see people.
Creative pursuits or lack thereof...
I haven't been painting (I do watercolors), but that's because my "office" is not separated from the baby's room and he's sleeping a lot. I do not want to wake him up. However, I'm slowly getting set up to do art again. In the mean time, I'm finding something really reassuring and relaxing about cross stitch.
My post-baby body...
I have lost the weight in that I actually weigh less now
than when I got pregnant. But, my body is definitely NOT the same as it used to
be. For starters, my hips are wider. Most of my pre-baby jeans will never fit
again – my bones are actually wider. It’s not flab – it’s that the baby
realigned my bones. I used to have narrow hips and shop in the juniors section
for size 7 jeans because adult jeans didn’t fit my narrow hips. And now, I finally have woman hips (which is kinda a bummer because
juniors’ jeans are dirt cheap). Also, I have a stomach pooch (bulge) where the
baby used to be. Although totally not sexy, I look at this pooch and think to
myself, “Well, baby #2 could go in there some day, so I’ll worry about this
later… like 10 years later.” I’m counting my calories and fitting in walks
(down the block, around a store…) whenever possible, but I'm not hugely concerned about how my body looks right now.
Documenting...
And I thought organizing my digital media (photo files) was hard before the baby. OMG - I have photos I took, photos family took and emailed me, Facebook photos, Twitter photos... It's overwhelming. And despite that I now have all these great photos, I simultaneously feel like I need more photos, yet I am worried that I will lose the photos I already have. My favorite mode of communication right now is probably Twitter, but I wish that more of my Facebook friends were on Twitter (I hate The Facebook).
Concluding thoughts...
Having a baby was probably the best thing I will ever do. There is something surprisingly liberating about feeling like my life is no longer all about me. I am looking forward to the things that SeriousKiddo will do in his life more than I am looking forward to the things that I will do in mine. Meanwhile, I treasure all the little moments like grabbing his feet, patting his diapered butt, and tickling his tummy with one of his stuffed toys. There is almost something simultaneously vulnerable and terrifying about having a kid because, as a wise friend once told me, they become your heart. And the trouble with having your heart live outside your body is that you can no longer control it. Something terrible could happen to SeriousKiddo at any time in any place, even if (or especially if) I am not there. I do not have a solution for this very real fear - I can't rationalize some sort of philosophical "c'est la vie" type of argument that would make me feel more at ease. All I can do is control the small things like bumper-guards (for coffee table corners) and carseats and cabinet door looks (for the cleaning products cabinet), so I am controlling the sh*t out of that stuff right now.
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