The Bear at Age 7

A. His Schedule – He likes to sleep in and stay up late. In the summer (a school-free and low-stress time), he's been going to bed at 9 p.m. (sometimes even later) and waking at 8:15 a.m., then leaving for camp at 8:30 a.m. He doesn't want to go to bed alone so he'll frequently try to convince his dad and that we should go to bed when he does.

B. His Size – He's wearing size 7 clothes and size 1.5 shoes (size 1 soccer cleats though).

C. His Personality – It's so hard to pin doesn his personality since he's a complicated guy. At heart, I think he's a good person, but he feels his emotions strongly, and sometimes his actions don't match his heart. He's funny, creative, motivated, and clever, but also defensive and skeptical.

D. His Favorite Things

• Colors: His favorite colors are red, rainbow, and gold.
• Shows and Movies: He likes watching Aphmau and other YouTube gamers. He still likes Troll Hunters. He tries to avoid liking anything that his younger sister enjoys watching.
• Books: His learning to read is delayed, likely due to a learning disability such as Dyslexia. He currently likes being read a book about pirates.
• Toys and Play: He had a watergun-themed birthday party, so I'd say he likes waterguns/waterballoons in addition to Nerf guns. He really wants to build things. He keeps wanting me to search for "buiding supplies" on Amazon.
• Art: He likes creating art. He uses a lot of colors when he does. He built a pretty interesting shark out of Model Magic clay this week.
• Activities: He is an active guy except for when he is on his computer, in which case he hyper-focuses. In addition to video games, he likes to swim.
• Time of Day: I'd say he's a night owl.
• Bedding: He likes sharing my fleece blanket which is super soft and has rainbow ice cream cones on it. Yesterday, he received a blue tie-dye fleece blanket that he likes. We're still in the habbit of using only blankets and fitted sheets without flat sheets (aka top sheets).
• Clothing: He is somewhat creative with his clothing, prefering to stand out. Today he wore an orange long-sleeved flannel button-up shirt to soccer. In summer. I think he chose it simply because he was sure that no one else would be wearing anything similar.
• Foods: He's a pretty picky eater but some things he likes are milk, fruit, chips, spaghetti, and rice. He used to like fries but even those have lost some appeal for him.
• Animals: He likes our pets, especially our cat. He will make our pet rabbit a "bunny salad" (it's mostly lettuce and carrots). He hugs our dog. I don't know if he has a "favorite" animal but I'll ask him.
• Heroes/Characters: The Hulk. Definitely The Hulk. Sometimes he gets to play as Hulk in the Lego Avengers video game we have for the XBox. I think he likes Iron Man too.

E. Things He Does Not Like – He would rather lead than follow. So, I'd say "following" is disliked. I think he enjoys being a contrarian - he still dislikes pizza and chocolate. I think he knows that he's not catching on with regard to reading as much as his classmates (the school told us he seems to "be aware") and I think that bothers him deeply.

F. What He’s Thinking About – In his free time, when he's not deeply involved in his laptop or with the TV or XBox, he likes to think about buiding a Nerf base in our yard. It makes me sad to think that this will never become a reality for him - he's not going to be seven forever and eventually he'll grow out of this dream before we have the bandwidth and money to make it happen.

G. Surprises – It's somewhat surprising just how different each one of my kids' personalities is from the others. I would say that he gets along best with his older brother (SeriousKiddo) and gets along least well with his younger sister (Rosie). She says he's "so mean" to her, but really I think it's just that he wants to control her, and like any headstrong lady, she opposes this.

H. Best & Worst Things –

• The best thing(s): He seems to like/love me. And he doesn't mind showing it. I know eventually, there will be a period where he distances himself from me (does it happen at 11? or 10?), but right now, he seems to think I'm cool enough to hang out with, even in front of his friends.
• The worst thing(s): I wish he could read like his classmates. I know that he'll find professional success eventually - he's too smart not to. But the feeling of being "less than" is probably pretty painful for him.

I. Family and Friends – I feel weirdly unmoored to this area at this point. Some of my closest friends have moved away. I spend less time with my folks than I used to. I love our street and our neighbors. But at the same time, I long for a larger house that I can customize (it's hard to justify customizing a rental, e.g. paying to have the rooms painted). I don't know how to get to feeling a stronger sense of community both for myself and my kids. Is moving the answer? Or do I just have to lean in a little more? I've leaned in plenty over the years, but people always wind up moving away or getting too busy just the same. There's a community pool that I could join that might help? But it's so very expensive. And I could join the PTA. But that just seems like a fundraising operation, and I have very little to give in the way of funds or time right now.

J. Parenting or What I’m Doing Differently – I would say that the older I get, the more chill I get as a parent. At this point, very little phases me. I'm also a lot less apologetic about making parenting choices that I believe are the best for my kids, even if those choices are inconvenient for other people.

K. Milestones – He's about to lose his first tooth. It's pretty darned jiggly.

The Bear at 6.25 Years Old

A. His Schedule – Left to his own devices, he'd wake up at 8 a.m. or even later, and go to bed at 10:30 p.m. But he needs to wake at 7:15 a.m. for school, and his bedtime is 8:30 p.m.

B. His Size – He's wearing a mix of size 6 and size 7 clothes and he's wearing size 1 shoes.

C. His Personality – He's an empathetic, energetic child who loves to party.

D. His Favorite Things

• Colors: He likes bright colors like red and he likes "rainbow." He also likes Fortnite purple.
• Shows and Movies: He likes anything with the Avengers, particularly The Guardians of the Galaxy.
• Books: He can't quite grasp reading yet, but he likes learning about science, particularly rocks and gems.
• Toys and Play: Toy weapons, particulars Nerf Guns, which he collects.
• Art: He's a creative guy who loves creating art, especially if glitter is involved.
• Activities: He loves playing video games and watching YouTube videos of other people playing video games. Besides that, he likes playing outside.
• Time of Day: For all the energy that he exudes, he likes nighttime a lot.
• Bedding: He has a blanket with stars on it, and he still has his rainbow pillow.
• Clothing: Unlike his older brother, he cares a lot about how he looks and wants "cooler clothes." His newest item is sneakers with flames on them.
• Foods: Besides milk, he likes plain potato chips, meat, and raspberries.
• Animals: He still loves our dog and cat. I would say his favorite animal might be dragons. I asked him, and he said it's peacocks, because he "likes rainbow-colored birds"
• Heroes/Characters: The Hulk. I wish there was more Hulk merch.

E. Things He Does Not Like – Weirdly, none of my kids like pizza. Chocolate. Feeling excluded.

F. What He’s Thinking About – I think he worries about how he stacks up to others, which may be partly because he and his brother are so close in age. I know it bugs him that his older brother can read chapter books while he's struggling with even short words.

G. Surprises – I guess I am surprised at how quiet and "boring" it is every time he has a one-on-one sleepover with his grandma.

H. Best & Worst Things –

• The best thing(s): I get a kick out of how artistic he his, combining supplies in unusual and effective ways. I'm glad that at least one of the kids is into art like my mom.
• The worst thing(s): Emotional regulation is still challenging.

I. Family and Friends – I'm sad that some of his closest friends have drifted apart from us, either due to busy schedules on their end, or to them moving.

J. Parenting or What I’m Doing Differently – There's only so much space in our schedule. I wish I had the time to read to him one-on-one on a nightly basis. If we do it a couple of times a week, that's a win.

K. Milestones – Seeing him write his name on everything is pretty cute.

The Bear, at 5.5 Years Old

A. His Schedule – He is a bit of a late sleeper and  night owl. He never wants to go to bed - he'd rather stay up partying. He wakes up at about 8:30 a.m. which is right when school starts! If we let him, he'll readily stay up past 10 p.m. His school day starts at 8:30 a.m. and ends at about 3:15 p.m. He has in-person school two days a week, and virtual school two and a half days a week.

B. His Size – He's wearing size 6 clothes and size 13 shoes.

C. His Personality – He craves fun, and finds it wherever he can. He's always involved in something. He's an adventurous, energetic guy who picks up on things quickly and has good comedic timing.

D. His Favorite Things

• Colors: "Rainbow" and red.
• Shows and Movies: He likes YouTube shows about video games. He also likes superhero movies, from The Hobbit to Avengers movies.
• Books: He'll listen to Dr. Seuss sometimes, and also likes nature books.
• Toys and Play: He hasn't played much with toys since he got his laptop. He plays Minecraft, Roblox, and Fortnite on his laptop. He also has some Xbox games.
• Art: He seems to really enjoy art, whether it's painting, creating things with clay, or using glitter.
• Activities: He spends a fair amount of time fighting with his older brother and finding fault with his younger sister. Aside from that, he likes to wrestle and have Nerf gun battles.
• Time of Day: Probably nighttime, especially if we have set up the fire pit.
• Bedding: He has a rainbow-colored pillow and various fleece blankets. He has the top bunk in his room.
• Clothing: He is willing to wear pretty much anything, although his favorite clothes are "his gardening pants" (cargo pants), a blue shirt with multi-colored stripes, his Ninja Turtles pajamas, and "his fancy clothes" (a Tang suit).
• Foods: He is not an adventurous eater, but his favorites are meat, raspberries, and potato chips.
• Animals: He likes animals, particularly our dog.
• Heroes: Thor is his favorite but he also really likes Hulk.

E. Things He Does Not Like – Bedtime.

F. What He’s Thinking About – Adding things to his Wish List, particularly Nerf items. He has so many toy weapons on his list!

G. Surprises – Probably how hot or cold he runs. When he's sweet, he's so sweet. But when he's mad, he's so mad.

H. Best & Worst Things –

• The best thing(s): He's still cuddly.
• The worst thing(s): He does create quite a bit of noise and messes. Luckily, he is willing to try to clean up those messes.

I. Family and Friends – It's been a year since Covid broke out. We've seen far fewer friends than usual and he's gone far fewer places than usual. I think it's been hard for him because he's a social and inquisitive guy.

J. Parenting or What I’m Doing Differently – Since Covid, we've not done any organized activities, so that is one thing that's been different.

The Bear at Four Years Old on the Nose

A. His Schedule – He usually gets up about 7 a.m., sometimes takes a nap in the afternoon, and goes to sleep about 8:20 p.m. I’d like to get him to go to bed a bit earlier, and also to ensure he gets a nap every day, but sometimes the battle is easier to concede than to fight. He used to be an early riser but not anymore!

B. His Size – He seems to be about average for his age.

·                     Weight: 35.4 lbs. (45th percentile)

·                     Height: 41.5 inches (75th percentile)

C. His Personality – He is an exuberant child. He loves fun and pursues it actively. He loves the outdoors, fixing things (with daddy), creating messes as well as cleaning up, cuddling, and trying to make us laugh. I think he could be an excellent actor if he were so inclined, but I also think he’d make a great engineer or scientist (e.g. chemist or biologist).

D. His Favorite Things

·                     Colors: Rainbow

·                     Shows: He’s not nearly as interested in TV as his brother, so it’s hard to say

·                     Toys, Play, and Art: He loves superhero playsets, Play Doh, and slime, and is a prolific colorer

·                     Time of Day: Hard say – any time that he’s around people, I guess – he seems pretty extroverted

·                     Bedding: He still likes his multi-colored pillow (looks like it has rainbow tiles on it) and his blue cloud blankets, though he’s getting a bit big for them – he’ll try to go to bed with up to three blankets if we let him

·                     Foods: Fried chicken, chips, fries, ketchup, Lucky Charms, and popsicles

·                     Activities: Too many to list, including running, gardening, building things, bug collecting, playing in or with things that are messy (slime, sand, dirt…), painting and coloring, watching a movie while snuggling, receiving backrubs, taking baths, water play (e.g. washing the car), and swimming!

·                     Animals: He likes all animals, including dogs and cats, birds, bunnies, chicks, and horses

·                     Heroes: He likes superheroes a lot, especially Batman

E. Things He Does Not Like – Alone time, when people say they don’t want to be his friend, going down for a nap, when people don’t want to play with him, and sitting down for story time

F. What He’s Thinking About – Probably doing something with his dad, like gardening or building something, or what he could be doing to have more fun (like getting out his paints, or his toys)

G. Surprises – He’s so different from my other son! He’s an extroverted, thrill-seeking, funny, cuddly guy!

H. Best & Worst Things –

·                     The best things: Definitely that we, as his parents, are so important to him – I know one day it will be us who have to track him down instead of him constantly asking for our attention (“Da-da, Da-da…Mooom, Mooom…”). It’s also lovely that he’s finally showing some interest in interacting with his little sister.

·                     The worst things: Probably how upset he gets when he’s sad – I think he feels things more fully (wholly, completely) than most people – when he’s happy, he’s sooooooo happy, but when he’s having a rough time, he’s sooooo upset. I think he needs more assurance than most people that he belongs and is loved. For my part, I’ve been trying to use the Love Language of touch more often with him, via backrubs or sitting with him in my lap. One other thing that’s tricky with him is getting him to respect other people’s property. He’s pretty good about taking care of his own things though.

I. Family and Friends – He’s a tricky guy to pin down – he says that no one likes him, yet objectively it seems like he’s popular with other children. He seems to want to be close with his older brother, yet frequently it seems like his efforts to play together are met with frustration by his older brother.

J. Parenting – I’m trying to make sure that all my kids feel loved unconditionally, and like no matter what, I’ll be on their side – that I care about their feelings.

The Bear at Almost 4 Years Old

A. His Schedule – He likes to stay up late and sleep late. He seems to be chronically tired but also habitually unwilling to nap or go to sleep when we put him in bed. If he does finally fall asleep for a nap, expect him to be out cold for at least a couple of hours.

B. His Size – He seems to be a little smaller than average.

C. His Personality – He is so outgoing. He is always trying to connect with people. He has a powerful drive to be loved. He wants to help people. He wants to make people laugh. He wants to do things with people (teamwork). He wants people to give him their undivided attention. He is, in that respect, like a sponge – the more attention you shower on him, the happier he is as he soaks it all in. The other kids at his daycare seem to like following him, as if his joy and fascination with whatever he’s doing at the moment is contagious.

D. His Favorite Things

• Colors: “Rainbow.” Also, "your favorite color."
• Shows: He likes scary shows, like Goosebumps and Scoobie Doo. He asks us to let him watch scary movies that are designed for adults but we keep saying “no.” His drive to be thrilled seems higher than average to me.
• Toys, Play, and Art: He likes his stuff dog, Zoie. He loves to collect and put on makeup, face paint, camouflage Army makeup, etc. I’m not sure if his fascination with makeup is because he enjoys the act of collecting things – pirating makeup from my dresser – or if he actually likes the makeup itself. I suspect it’s a bit of both. He likes painting (like with watercolors) and applying real paint with a brush and makeup with a brush seems quite similar to me. Speaking of art, he creates it very quickly and passionately. It’s not unusual for him to finish all three art projects in his Bible class and do an additional art project to boot before we pick him up – in the course of that same hour, it’s not unusual for our other son to have belabored over the very first assignment and not yet completed it. Bear also loves mixing things, i.e. making slime. He also loves Play Doh. In the future, I wouldn’t be surprised if he becomes an artist or a chemist. Though I also wouldn't be surprised if he becomes an actor.
• Time of Day: I don’t know, but I’d probably say nighttime, especially if there’s cuddling on the couch.
• Bedding: He still loves his cloud blankies, and will frequently carry a couple of them around, and also his rainbow-colored pillow.
• Foods: Meat. Cheese. Pepperoni. Fries. Chips. Lemonade. Iced tea (very rarely has access to this). Popsicles.
• Activities: He enjoys swim class. He also enjoys gardening with his dad.
• Animals: Cats, especially ours. He also likes bugs, especially spiders. We had a worm farm that he was pretty interested in (sadly, the worm farm did not last). He seems to really enjoy all animals, especially friendly animals.
• Heroes: He loves superheroes. He seems to prefer powerful superheroes like Disney’s Maleficent, but he also loves Batman.

E. Things He Does Not Like – Following orders. Being criticized (no one does). Being told “no.” Being told to take a nap. When his brother pulls him back so that his brother wins a race.

F. What He’s Thinking About – He’s already looking forward to his birthday party.

G. Surprises – Sometimes he’ll say really funny or cute things. He has a wonderful sense of humor.

H. Best & Worst Things –

• The best things: When he’s cuddly. Or being funny. Or being nice to his sister. His little hoarse voice. When he mispronounces words. When he gets excited about doing something, which happens a lot.
• The worst things: His temper. When he does something mean to another child, like spit or tear up their artwork. I think he does these things when he feels rejected by others. For example, when one of his friends told him that she didn't want to be his friend, that's when he decided to tear up her artwork. It's not an excuse, but it does shed some light on what he's thinking. He's a sensitive guy.

I. Family and Friends – So far, when his brother gets invited to something, we’ve taken him. So, his friends are essentially the same as his brother’s friends. Oh the joys of having two kids relatively close in age.

J. Parenting or What I’m Doing Differently – I’m trying to use the love language of touch more with Bear, as I believe that may be his primary language. I’m also trying to say “yes” more, even when it’s a bit late, or when what he wants to do is messy.

The Bear at Just Over Three Years Old

Always in Motion

Enjoys Playing with his Little Sister

He Likes Taking Photos with my Cell

After a Blue Ring Pop

A. His Schedule – Ted is an active kid – the easiest days are when he gets a lot of stimulation (via sports or interacting with people) followed by a power nap. On the days when he doesn’t get enough activity, whether he naps or not, he is difficult. These days he pretty much gets up when the sun rises, and gets sleepy once the sun has gone down.

B. His Size – Bear is 31 lbs. 2 oz. (38th percentile), and 40 ¾ inches tall (96th percentile).

C. His Personality – Bear is a fun-loving guy. He loves being the center of attention. He’s affectionate with his sister, and his pet dog. He seems to experience higher highs and lower lows, mood-wise, than most people.

D. His Favorite Things

• Colors: He likes all colors, especially when something is what he calls “rainbow” (which I’d call “multi-colored”) – he seems to like red, green, and yellow best and seems to have high color acuity
• Shows: His current favorite thing to watch is what he calls “makeup show” on YouTube, which YouTube classifies as DIY shows – he’ll watch cooking, craft, or Play Doh DIYs, but he likes makeup most of all – he also likes what he calls “slime show” which is when makeup and candy are mixing together with slime (these videos are popular, I think because people find them oddly satisfying)
• Toys: He has a large stuffed dog that he calls “Zoie,” and he is also found of his fireman Halloween costume and his kiddie makeup – he now uses a large tote to haul his most prized possessions around the house with him
• Time of Day: Any time that he’s outside
• Bedding: He still loves his white-and-blue fleece moose blanket and his multi-colored throw pillow
• Foods: He still likes meat, yogurt, fruit (like bananas and strawberries), and cheese, particularly American cheese
• Activities: These days he enjoys his swimming class, gardening with his dad, and going places – he really likes getting out of the house
• Animals: He seems to like all animals, but particularly his pet dog
• Heroes: He likes Spiderman and Batman; he also enjoyed meeting some real firefighters at a recent firefighters open house we went to

E. Things He Does Not Like

• Chocolate
• When his older brother doesn’t share a toy with him (to be fair, Bear is pretty good about sharing his own toys with his brother)
• Being told what to do, even if it’s a reasonable request, like his teacher making him wash his hands
• Sleeping alone (he prefers to sleep in our bed, but we don’t let him do it every night)

F. What He’s Thinking About

• He is already looking forward to his birthday, which isn’t until the summertime, and he likes to look at and curate his Amazon Wish List
• He’s enrolled in karate through his school and he seems to like that – he showed me a board he broke with his foot with great pride
• He told me a story recently about how his classmates didn’t want to play with him, so he resorted to hitting them – I hope they learn to get along and play together

G. Surprises – The better Bear gets at expressing himself with his words, the better my relationship with him gets, although it’s still a bit of a struggle as he and I don’t have a lot in common as far as our personalities.

H. The Best Things – I’d say the best times with him are either when he’s calm, such as right before bedtime when he’ll perch on my or my husband’s lap, or when he’s trying to be helpful to others – he will always jump up to get something for his baby sister, for example.

I. Family and Friends – He is finally able to remember some of his family members who he doesn’t see often, like his cousin Tyler.

J. What I’m Doing Differently This Time Around – I don’t think I’m doing anything differently with Bear than I did with Serious Kiddo. I will say that Bear is an easier three-year-old than he was a two-year-old.

The Bear is Turning Three!

It's hard to take a photo of him that's not an action shot.
This is him holding a paper dog puppet he made
and saying "Woof woof."

A. His Schedule – We try to put him to bed at 8 a.m., but he has a lot of energy, and it’s doubly hard to get him to fall asleep when he and his brother are sleeping in the same room, because they keep each other up. The boys now share a bedroom, although one of them will sometimes sleep in our room, which is a treat for them, and also helps ensure that they actually do fall asleep at a decent hour. He usually wakes up on his own around 6:30 a.m. Although he takes an afternoon nap at school, it is quite difficult to get him to take one at home, and sometimes we give up. His favorite thing to do when the days are long and bright (yay summer!) is to go across the street and ask if Nina can come play. She’s around six years old, and we think Bear may have a crush on her. Then again, she’s a nice kid, so maybe that’s why he’s so crazy about spending time with her.

B. His Size – He is an even 30 pounds. He’s still pretty skinny (but not un-healthfully so) but he grew around 5 inches taller this past year. He’s now tall enough to ride things at places like county fairs.

C. His Personality – Bear is easy to love but very hard to handle. He’s cuddly and loving and can be so sweet. He’s got a great sense of humor too. He’ll put on a mask to try and get us to laugh, or try to make a joke, etc. However, he’s also very stubborn, and can get very mad at us if we don’t give him what he wants. When he’s upset, he’ll say things like “I’ll never be your friend again!” He’s a difficult kid to watch because he’s always getting into something – something dangerous, or messy, or destructive, or a combination thereof. He’s not completely fearless, but he’s close.

D. His Favorite Things

• Colors: Red, green, yellow, and pink
• Shows: He loves watching the movie The Hobbit, especially the part where the dwarves and elves have to fight the spiders – he generally seems to prefer watching movies (like Boss Baby and Lego Batman) to shows
• Toys: He doesn’t really have a favorite toy although he likes things like swords, his toy broom and mop (which he uses like swords), art stuff (he loves to paint), makeup, Play Doh, and anything that his brother was playing with first
• Time of Day: Probably the morning
• Bedding: He still loves his white-and-blue fleece moose blankies, but he also has a multi-colored throw pillow that he exclusively uses as his bed pillow – in the morning, he’ll drag both his blankie and his pillow onto the couch, and he’ll drag them back to bed at nighttime
• Foods: He claims his favorite food is meat, but he also eats a fair amount of yogurt, be it Danimals yogurt smoothies, or strawberry-flavored yogurt sticks - he also really likes fries and chips
• Activities: He likes painting, but he also likes roughhousing, playing with his brother, and being outside, such as when he's gardening with his dad – he also still really likes taking a bath – one other thing he’s particularly partial to is sitting in people’s laps, be it mine, my husband’s, or his grandma’s
• Animals: Dogs and birds – he loves pointing out birds to us, and will literally point and say “Look, a birdie!” outside
• Heroes: He likes Batman, but he also really looks up to my husband

E. Things He Does Not Like

• Not getting his own way – I realize this might be true of all kids, but it is powerfully so with Bear
• When foods are mixed together – he likes things separate and “clean” (for example, he called the meat in Shepherd’s Pie “dirty”)
• His carseat – he tries to nab a chance to sit in his brother’s instead
• When we’re in the car and we stop at a red light

F. What He’s Thinking About

• Currently, he’s really looking forward to his birthday, and he says “My birthday is taking forever”
• He’s pretty good about being able to express himself in words and sentences
• He claims that a boy named Nicholas at his school is picking on him – The daycare said they’d keep an eye on it, but given that Bear is sometimes pushy with other kids, I’m not sure if I entirely believe Bear’s side of it, which is that “Nicholas is mean to me, and does this to me,” :: imitates punching himself in the head ::
• He’s been potty-trained for daytime since February, but he still wears a Pull-Up at night, even though most mornings it’s bone-dry

G. Surprises – I’m somewhat surprised that he’s almost the same size as his older brother, even though they’re 21 months apart. I’m also surprised that there’s so much of my husband in him. The only thing about him that reminds me of myself is that he has pretty good fine motor skills, and has an interest in art.

H. The Best Things – Life with Bear is complicated. Sometimes, he can be so hard to handle, and so indifferent to my feelings or the feelings of others. But other times, he can be phenomenally cute and caring.

I. Family and Friends – Bear had a great time in New England recently playing with his cousins. He also really enjoyed the company of Aunt Denise.

J. What I’m Doing Differently This Time Around – I can’t say that I’m doing anything differently with Bear than I did with his brother, except possibly that I’m putting more effort into allowing both boys’ friendships with other kids to develop. It takes effort to make sure that they’re forming friendships outside of daycare, but it’s worth it.